A child's fascination

Hello there peeps and light. I was strolling, yesterday at night alone. Figured i needed some fresh air and i desperately needed silence. My parents were at Malaysia and were supposed to be back yesterday. However, with a last minute call that my mom's aunt died (her aunty has 16 kids.All married.Holy mother of god. Apparently my mom has 15 siblings, 3 died out of cancer. I didn't even know or rather my mother chose not to talk about about her life. I really hope that my trip to genting will allow me to understand my mom better). I can break record for attending the most funerals. LOL. I guess that's why i am numbed in my heart and know exactly how a funeral works. You ask about celebrations, i don't know much at all.

Anyways, it just surprises me the fascination that one child has. For instance, for myself the fascination that i have were the buttons of a calculator or the cashier at the supermarket.The more chunkier the buttons the more i was excited. When i think about it again, it is silly. I mean as kids, we have so many silliest fascinations and curiosity just kills me sometimes. Like yesterday, a 5 year old kid, was so intrigued by the mannequins that he kept holding on to its hands just to make sure whether it is alive, i suppose so. Or how about the girl with the curly hair, her eyes in bewilderment when she looks at the traffic lights. Excited by every second. Tapping her feet and her eyes fixed. Waiting for her friendly green man. Another girl, she was walking along a slope meant for cyclist and kept telling her mother that she won the challenge of who walked the fastest. I mean seriously, children though i despise are really interesting people to meet.

When i was younger my dad used to tease me that i was so obsessed with dancing and had a gift of grabbing people's attention . I vaguely remember that one incident in east coast, there was a huge party going on. And the host, asked if any one wanted to come up the stage and dance. Well silly me, as young as 5, i was the only one dancing in front of hundreds of people. Dad continued that I love posing for pictures. I laughed hysterically even now whenever i look through the photographs. Great entertainer I am. I guess, maybe at that time, i had a fascination too. A fascination at why people love to see me dancing or acting stupid in front of them. Oh god, i still feel so embarrassed.

Back to reality. I have not had the time to head down to the gym.I had to take care of my brother here while my parents were at Malaysia most of the time. By the way, my dance teacher anjum she's driving me nuts. I mean no doubt she make me call her 'didi', elder sister in Hindi, its just i feel that she's trying to be more than just a dance teacher. I guess, i blame loneliness. She is a beautiful lady. But i have a life here and argh.Though i respect her a lot and she is a lovable person.Only my besti will know.

By the way, i have performance this Wednesday at 5pm at sifas. I feel that i have completely lost my energy. Really after all the spins. One section alone, 27 continuous spins. Absolute dizziness. You know with all the other problems in my life, i had a sudden urge to head to the 7 eleven and get myself a small bottle of Jacobs Creek. I kept telling myself you don't want to turn into an alcholic.

I figured that i should use this time to watch more good movies. A diversion from my harsh reality. Annie is going back to Vietnam. Though i might not know her much due to the language barrier she is definitely a handful. I'll definitely will miss her, the same goes to the other girls.

As for my love life, nothing interesting.Boring and absolute silence. He must be busy with his school. I guess i don't want to ask anything from him. I was chatting with my good friend, sha sha yesterday. And she reminded me that if you want a relationship to be alive,there has to be communication. In my case, it is, only 5 minutes. I can't ask for much can i? After all, I'm the one who wanted to stay single. He is in JC. You know it is silly for me to say this. But i really don't feel like i am in a relationship. I mean sorry for me to say, I feel single still. Then again i ask myself, why aren't you glad. I really don't know. There is no 'activeness' in my relationship. I don't wish to discuss this with him since he is busy with his school and everything else.The least he could answer is NO TIME. Well, a decent reply would be good. I am laughing at myself right this second.

Anyways, I'm really tired and weak. I am going to have an early nap. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day for me.