I CONQUERED A CARROT!

Hello there. I am back after a "decade" filled with miserable mishappenings and horrendous days. Hope you peeps are enjoying rather a hefty than me. Most probably, I'm back because I'm inspired by a carrot. Can you believe it? My dad forced to eat a carrot today.Mind you i remembered when i was eight and my mother forced me to chew on a whole carrot. I mean, You would rather ask me to run like a manic across an expressway than to eat a carrot. The taste is blar!!! I wonder how my 9 year old niece just love it so much though, that "passion" in her eyes.THat hmms and arhhs in between her bites!! OH GOD!ME IN DISGUST. Until today!!! Heavens calling, angels speaking.LEASHA for Christ sake conquer that damn carrot. And i did it. Ok alright, my bad. With in between bites of chocolate to erase the taste of carrot. I mean who the hell found this vegteable? GUN him down. Although, it has become another unnecessary inspiration for chefs to use in their receipes. I'm never going to eat it again.

Enough of carrots. Next in line for contributor for disaster in my life, is love. Although, he loves me a lot i guess I'm beginning to feel rather flimsy.My current boyfriend. I mean it not like as if I'm in love with him. (i am extremely sorry for being mean. For all the other things i said) HE is such a nice guy.TOO GOOD for me. I don't deserve him. Damn it why did i say yes. I dunno, i just can never trust men. Not that i am expert in relationships. Fell in love with a guy for 7 years.I bestow you, BOY.Nobody knows until this second.That was the only.Bloody one side love!

I guess i realized overtime, that i want my current bf to have a chance to be with me, which i didn't get with THE BOY I still remembered the days when i was at the bus stop every Tuesday and Thursday that same time, the same bus. Waiting patiently just to THE BOY. When i saw him, all came out from my mouth was air.The thing, was he never took the liberty to speak to me. As an acknowledgement at least to a friend he knew from 7 years old. RUDE!Either pretending to not know me, just stare disgustingly or avoid. I know i was dorky. I had a plaited hair. Looked famished every time.

I thought it was love!Childish love? I bet if i collected every drop of my tears, he would have drowned. How would you feel, the guy that you love so much is kissing another girl, or dating with several girls and god knows how filthy his mind has become. Next thing i know, the guy i know in my childhood, is drinking and smoking.Not that its any offense. The change confused me, my heart, my thoughts.The worst, i lied to him that it was just a childish liking when he asked me whether if i had a thing for him. Admittedly i was scared.Sooner or later, my dad kept to know. I lied to him that it was nothing. A convincing lie. To my current boyfriend, i said the same lie to him about that childhood love was nothing. Shoot me.

Again, why did god want me to experience love. I keep trying to avoid it so much. It comes running after you like a blood sucking vulture. Sometimes, i pray to him light, that he would give that love to my sister. She needs it more than i do. I need to concentrate on my acting career.

As for my career, i got my big break.Not really big. But for now it is. I am acting in an English drama on channel 5. Great experience.Although, i am desperate for someone huge in the industry internationally to discover me. I will keep fighting for my love of acting.One day, soon, this world will know my name, LEASHA SONAM! People screaming and asking for autographs from me.Apart from the fame and money it's my passion really for acting that drives me. Encourages me and gives me the hope.Next in turn, my brother.He is my inspiration & my drive.

PS.Just a minute ago, my sister and i are watching NORTH COUNTRY. The movie that really got into me. The real nature of men.bastards. She just told me, if you are so outraged about men, why are you in a relationship, dump him!Maybe i should.

Got to go.Again,forcing myself to lose my inspiration to write.